Side ho…

Being the side ho in a relationship is rough.

Especially when your boyfriend is basically married to his jeep.

You know this kind of guy; his car gets more parts with each paycheck, he washes it every weekend (complete with waxing and full interior detailing), he kisses it goodnight, one funny sound and he’ll spend the next 24 hours worrying about it like his car is going to die… You know these guys.

But nobody talks about the side ho; the wives and girlfriends who put up with this nonsense. Who watch their men sitting in the driveway with their cars watching the sunset. Who have to plan their weekends around the car shows and races and ‘tune-ups’ (i call it that because nothing is getting tuned, it’s just the activity of a man standing in his driveway for 4 hours fiddling with parts on his car for no reason).

And then your man looks at you like you’re the crazy one when you say that this new car is alright, or when you only shrug about going to the racetrack this weekend.

I love my man, I really do, but I did not think I was getting into a polygamous relationship that involved a car.

And jeep guys are some of the worst ones out there.

I don’t know what it is about them, but dear god once a man gets bitten by the Mopar bug, he will drop your ass faster than slow wifi just to spend time with his jeep.

At least he’s not clingy.

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