Student life: balance…

Being a college student is hard. Like really really hard. Harder than it was 10 years ago even.

Schools are becoming more and more competitive and more and more expenisve.

I can barely afford to keep a roof over my head and go to school.

So how I do I keep from drowning in the stress of keeping afloat?

Honestly… I don’t deal with it. Balance is an illusion. It’s a lie you tell your parents so they don’t worry about you at college. It’s a lie you tell your boss at work to keep the hours you need to eat. It’s a lie you tell yourself to make it day to day.

Balance is the lie your advisors and teachers will tell you to make you feel like shit. Because you’ll sit down at your desk and cry every night after work, for the only reason that you’re tired and overwhelmed and stressed and busy.

Your advisors will look at you and scoff if you come to them complaining about not being balanced and having too much on your plate. They will look you in the eye and tell you all the things you could do, but are actually unable to do.

Cut hours at work? Not a real option if you need to eat.

Drop a class or two? Not an option if you need to maintain a certain credit hour balance to keep financial aid.

Find a better job? When are you going to find time to do that between your already packed schedule?

Is there a solution? Fuck no there isn’t. Unless real resources are allocated to help you, like scholarships you actually qualify for or a raise at work, you’re stuck drowning under the pressure.

But I’m right there with you, so I understand. I understand what it’s like to have a 4 minute breakdown in your car in your driveway after getting home from work after taking an extra shift because you need the money to pay for a mechanical issue on the car you can’t afford to fix.

I understand what it’s like to sit in class and realize that you fucked up so badly on the test that you’re going to have to pull a miracle out of your ass to pass the class.

I understand what it’s like to be so alone and stressed and mad at yourself because hey, everyone else can do this, so why can’y you?

I understand. Honestly.

SO just remember that balance is an illusion and that asking for help will get you nowhere. Just take a deep breath every couple days, pull yourself through your breakdowns and remember that one day, you’ll be able to rub this bittersweet victory in everybody’s faces.

At least, that’s what gets me through my days.

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