I know I know. I’m that bitch that goes on and on about how marriage is a sham and how I’ll never get married.


I recently decided to elope.


It solves all the problems with a traditional wedding.

Shitty family?

They don’t have to be involved now.

Super fucking poor?

I only paid for the marriage license at my county courthouse. Which was infinitely cheaper than planning and paying for a big event. Or even a small private one. We didn’t even buy rings.

Same-sex relationship?

This is so much easier than planning a big wedding and trying to get your homophobic family members to come (everyone has at least 1 homophobe in the fam no lies). You get to be married and without condescending comments and unreasonable rage.

On the fence about marriage?

Then quit looking here. This is about eloping. As in, you run away with someone and get married then return and tell everyone so they can’t do anything about it.

So was it the right choice? Honestly, for us, probably. We both have too much family to keep a ceremony small and we both don’t want to spend thousands and thousands on clothes we get to wear like twice and on rings neither of us can wear outside of the house because of our professions’ safety hazards.

I’m not against the idea of marriage, just the sham industry that is wedding culture.

Being married legally makes things so much easier for me, like insurance forms, emergency contact information, taxes, financial aid for school, etc.

But I’m not doing this to prove a point. Okay, I kind of am. But the point I’m proving is that marriage itself is a stupid societal construct and the only good marriage is the kind where both parties are equally benefitting from the relationship.

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