Category Archives: Gripes and Groans

Unmotivated af…

You know those days your alarm goes off and you turn over to get up but you just don’t want to. Maybe its snowing outside and it would be so much nicer to stay in bed all day instead of tromping through the cold. Maybe you hate your job and constantly think about calling in just to get a few more hours of sleep.

And then you feel guilty for feeling burned out and unmotivated. So you start browsing the internet for some self-help guru to give you the magic answer.

There is none.

Getting up earlier or giving yourself goals isn’t going to make it easier for you to get out if bed and go to a job you hate.

So here are some tips I’ve come up with to get my ass moving on those really bad days when I want to call in.

Start Job Hunting 

One of the reasons you probably hate getting up is because you hate your job. Why? Take just a few seconds to really think about why. For me personally, retail is not where I wanted to be in life, they have taken advantage of my work ethic, they have unreasonable schedules, employees act like high schoolers and breed drama, and the benefits aren’t outstanding enough to make me want to stay permanently.

So maybe you feel this way about your job too. Then start looking.

Before calling in for the 5th time this month and its only the second week, start perusing the job market and see just how available another job is. And don’t get picky like ‘I wonder if NASA is hiring astronauts who used to work at a fast food place and have no college education to speak of’. Look for something that has just one benefit over your current work; better hours, better pay, closer commute, better benefits, in your chosen field…

But don’t quit your current job. Yet.

Spend your lunch time looking through the job postings and trying to scope the market before you quit. Then if you do decide you can’t do it anymore, you’ll have a plan in mind or even another job lined up.

Find some War Paint

This one is my all-time favorite for getting myself to go somewhere I don’t want to.

When I was just a little sophomore in high school, I saw a pretty hipster post declaring that you find your war paint to get you through the day. And for someone dealing with high school drama and the stress of getting into a good college, I took this advice to heart. And I don’t regret it for  second.

So what is war paint? It’s going to be one little thing that makes you feel good or powerful throughout the day. Like how some women love wearing red lipstick because they feel fierce. It can anything you can do before you go somewhere to make you feel powerful enough to handle the unknowns of the day.

I personally used to wear thick eyeliners and dyed my hair heavily and wore big clunky boots. I’ve taken to some of these fashions again because they make me feel more bad ass than the kindergarten teacher I normally resemble.

So how do you find your war paint? Think of some inner fantasy you’ve had. Like putting on fancy lingerie before you put on your police uniform (no judgements here folks, you can whatever kind of lingerie you want no matter who you are cause that shit is meant to make you feel good about yourself). Or it can stem from something more practical, like saying a prayer before you go to work (again, no judgements, whatever helps you guys do you).

It can be as simple as putting on some jewelry or as serious as slipping a knife into your pocket (sometimes I wish I had my knives at work). It just depends on what kind of aura you want to exude.

Take a Vacation

Cash in those vacation days. It’s the best way to actually get away from work without losing your job. And chances are that since you’re feeling burned out, you need to take a break.

So take a staycation and get your life back on track. Spend a day in bed and recoup from working your ass off.

When you get burned out from work, you don’t want to do shit. I know. You don’t want to come home and do dishes or laundry or even make a real meal. So take a few days off and get all that shit down.

When you get burned out, everything takes a back burner and then you feel guilty for not doing it. But don’t worry so much. Don’t pull yourself by your bootstraps and push day after day. Take some time and get yourself sorted out.

But don’t spend all those vacation days at once. Just take a long weekend, say a total of 5 days (three work days plus your two normal days off a week, so you’re only spending 3 vacation days).

Stress Relief

This is my favorite thing to do. Right when you get off from work, pick one little thing to get all that pent-up energy out. Some people like strenuous exercise. But we’re not some people.

I like to get home and scream into a pillow. Why not? That energy has to go somewhere. Remember how good you felt after screaming into a pillow as a kid?

Or come home and spend some one-on-one time with your honey. You know, some one-on-one time. It’s a good way to reconnect after along stressful day, it’s good way to get some of that pent-up energy out, and afterwards, pillowtalk is a great way to vent about your day without getting upset at your partner and a great way to brainstorm solutions for your particular job/situation.

There’s nothing quite like spending a majority of your day making someone else money. So before you lose your mind, leave me a comment below about some of the shit you put up with at work.

Working Retail: Courtesy…

Something they don’t explain to anyone going into retail is that common courtesy flies out the window as soon as you step foot in the building.

You’ve seen it as a customer probably; you come into the store trying to shop and everyone and their mother is standing in the middle of the aisles, babies are screaming, you’re increasingly frustrated because you can’t get what you need… It’s just a hot mess.

But as a retail worked, it’s WAY worse. We get to be Ultra Polite to all the customers because if we aren’t we can get written up/ fired. By being Ultra Polite, we get to be walked all over, talked over, shouted at, brushed off, and ignored.

And I mean all this literally.

Customers will try to run us down in aisles because they want to take up 70% of an empty aisle just for themselves. Customers will literally yell at workers just because we hesitate for a moment to think or to find a manager who knows more about a certain department (this has happened to me numerous times in the last year).

We went through a remodel recently and a lot of products got moved around. We consistently get customers who bite our (the employee’s) heads off over a decision that came from the corporate bigwigs. We as employees had no choice in the matter and now must get berated day in and day out over a decision we couldn’t control.

I don’t get how people come in and all manners fly out the door.

What happened to please and thank you? Excuse me?

The world is a mean place and the least we can do is try to be a little nicer in a place where everyone is miserable.

Working Retail: Immature…

The most startling thing about working retail is how your coworkers treat you.

You can meet some of the nicest, generous people working minimum-wage for a retail giant. And you will also meet some of the oldest high schoolers of your life.

I’m not talking about high school kids who are super seniors but trying to get out into the world. I’m talking about the people who, for no reason, choose to hate your guts and willingly make your job 20x harder than it needs to be. Especially when you need to communicate with these people regularly.

I currently deal with 4 of these people; two of which graduated school just a few short years ago, and two of which have decided to act like high schoolers, at their job, well into their 40s.

Now, this kind of attitude surprised the shit out of me because before I worked retail, I was a file clerk/admin assistant for a local contraction company (i.e. a construction office bitch). I had absolutely no problems with the other office workers and the field employees (all the service guys and the construction guys), whenever they came into the office they were more than respectful of me and the other ladies in the office.

Since working retail, I have been threatened to take our dispute ‘elsewhere’ because I laughed at a joke made at one person’s expense because the joke was made by a salaried manager and I was nervous. What else am I supposed to do when a salaried manager, who can make or break my day, who can fire me, who can write me up for any little thing, makes an inappropriate joke? Nothing. I can go to HR after the fact, but not during.

I have been told that, while working on a special project for my department, one of the previous managers over my department thought I wasn’t doing a good enough job and that if I had just ‘done it sooner, you wouldn’t need help’. She said it to my face, after I was not told that I needed to come in early to help with a different project. She has since been extremely cold towards me.

And a different manager who previously was over my department, but still works closely with mine, refuses to communicate with me about anything. Just last week, she purposefully neglected to tell me about some boxes that needed to stocked that had accidentally ended up with her freight. She was less that 10 feet away from me in the backroom and didn’t say shit. Not a single word. She left my freight on the floor in her area and neglected to tell me that it was even there. I only knew about it because I was 10 FEET AWAY FROM HER AND HEARD HER TALKING!

Now, I can theorize why these girls are all mad at me. It’s not hard to do. But this is your job; you  shouldn’t be causing drama and being completely immature just because you’ve been there however long or your apathetic about your job. Just because you don’t care doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. I have bills to pay, college to attend, mouths to feed, etc. I can’t afford to settle this shit like I did in high school where I had no qualms about calling you out in public and calling you on your shit. Hell, I was constantly ready for a throw down in high school. But I’m an adult now and willing to have sit downs and communicate where these animosities are coming from so that I don’t hate coming to my job every single fucking day.

I think the worst part is that I’m not the only person these bullies target. The two younger girls I work with are now targeting two of the other girls on their team. Why? I can’t tell you. The two innocent girls come in, do their jobs, go home. They are just like me, trying to pay their bills and keep their heads afloat. They don’t start shit and they really are nice girls. But these two drama queens have decided they are the next best thing.

It’s absolutely ridiculous how people can get away with acting like this. And whenever I communicate that I’m being treated this way to my managers, they just shrug it off and tell me ‘you’re young so you have to learn to be the bigger person’. No the fuck I don’t. I am the bigger person by coming in every day, trying to be polite and courteous even though I really want to throw blows. I already am the bigger person for pleading with my managers to set up meetings with some of my colleagues so we can all get on the same page and clear the air. Just because my managers don’t do anything about it doesn’t mean that I’m not trying or that I’m not being the bigger the person.

But then again, why am I, the twenty-something having to be the bigger person to a forty-something adult woman who has no right to treat me the way she does.

Maybe I’ll start being the bitch I was in high school and show them I mean business, because apparently civility and honor mean nothing to these people. And they’re about to mean nothing to me.

Have you ever dealt with people like this while working retail or is this just my store? I would love some feedback below!

Fashion…

Fashion is stupid. Exceedingly stupid.

Clothes for women are so impractical; either too short, too thin, too cutesy, too slutty, or too old-fashioned.

I can dress in a short skirt and be called a slut, only because I am showing off my legs (oh god no, not legs! that’s too damn sexy).

I can wear a cropped sweater and be called dumb because no sweaters are a normal length.

I can wear a professional blouse and freeze half of the day because it’s made from the thinnest materials available (why? people don’t want to see my nipples when I’m giving a presentation).

I can wear a moderate length skirt and get dirty looks for not dressing my age. (Oh god, now I’m not showing enough leg! Where will the madness end!)

Or I can wear a simple t-shirt with unicorns and rainbows on it and look like I’m an 8 year old girl (even though I pay taxes and vote).

There’s no winning unless you start wearing men’s clothing and then people judge you based on stereotypes of sexuality.

Like, what do you people want from women? We can’t be naked unless it’s on paper and we can’t wear practical clothing unless we’re crazy, old, lonely, cat ladies and we can’t wear 90% of clothing available without getting shit for it. So what do you want?

Nosy Relatives: Marriage…

I hate when you go see a relative and they start pushing about your relationships (sometimes, the lack thereof).

I just celebrated 3 years of dating with my boyfriend. And we’re perfectly happy where we are right now; living together, raising pets, and just trying to make our way in the world.

But the number of looks I have seen in the last week when I tell them we’ve been  together for three years. I swear, there is nothing more irritating than people giving me looks like I should be dropping hints that we need to get hitched.

I don’t have to drop hints. We’re adults that talk about our future together like adults and make big decisions together. I don’t need Auntie Nancy butting into our business and trying to push us in a direction we don’t feel comfortable taking as a couple (Auntie Nancy isn’t a real person, btw). I don’t care that everyone over 40 got married in their late teens/ early twenties, that’s not a feasible concept anymore, especially for work benefits, taxes, student loans debt and regular debt incurred just trying to live.

But the worst part of the nosy relative trying to drop hints? That you’re not involved in the relationship to begin with. You may be related to one party of the couple, and you could be their closest friend, but that doesn’t mean you have any form of say in what the couple decides is best for them. You don’t get to push your son into proposing because you think he should be settled down by 25, like you were. Hell, you probably don’t even really know what your relative wants from their relationship or from life. Maybe they want to travel the world before marrying, maybe they want to be well-off enough to be able to provide a house instead of an apartment to their new spouse, maybe they want to pay off their student loans so that they don’t wrangle their new spouse into helping them pay it off.

So when I get those looks from friends and family, I have to fight to bite my tongue lest I say something truly regretful. Because the last thing I want to talk about is how my marriage is failing because I married someone after 1 year, while still in the honeymoon stage of a relationship, and then realized that the person I am now married to and raising children with is not compatible with me. Oh wait…

Proposals…

You know what the most ridiculous thing in the world is? Men HAVING to propose with a diamond ring to their girlfriend.

It’s completely impractical.

Why would I want a shiny rock that’s worth more than a car that I will use only as a status symbol to show that I’m desirable enough to marry?

I want something usable, something practical. I don’t need jewelry.

Get me a house, or a new car, or even a stick of gum. Just not jewelry.

Or hell, don’t even propose. Just toss me over your shoulder like the barely-evolved caveman you are and drag me back to your cave. It makes more sense than spending too much money on a simple little ring that can get lost or stolen or broken.

Or if you really want to propose to me, get me a fucking Ringpop or something. Candy jewelry. Something besides jewelry I will  never wear because I can’t stand rings and necklaces get in the way when I work, and bracelets snap and earrings get lost all the time.

What would you rather pay; $5,000+ on an engagement ring (plus another like $3k or so for the wedding band?) or like $1 on a Ringpop, or if you’re feeling splurge-y, maybe like $20 for a modest bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt proposal.

If you could go back and propose with something other than a diamond ring, would you?

This post also ties back to my previous posts on Weddings… 

Weddings…

Weddings are absolutely pointless in this day and age.

Maybe back in the day it was just an excuse to get the whole village together and party, but today?

I can go down to the court house with my chosen spouse and sign a marriage license. I could be married by lunch today if I had a consenting partner.

Yet this “traditional” way of celebrating a civil partnership by dropping thousands and thousands of dollars on a one-time event where the couple force their friends and families to jump through outrageous hoops (you’ve seen those bridezilla stories) just to show up to eat some food and get drunk in fancy clothing.

And that’s not even taking into account the couples where the families are ultra-controlling and try to make a dream wedding by their standards instead of what the couple wants.

Knowing exactly how my family will act if I ever decide to ‘settle down’, I’m eloping. Then my grandmother can’t criticize my dress, my parents can’t lament the bill they won’t even be paying, my spouse’s parents won’t have to gripe about the wedding theme/colors, and I won’t have to listen to my friends bitch and moan about how I didn’t pick them for my bridal party.

Of course, this doesn’t mean I haven’t picked out my wedding dress. You can’t elope without looking the part.

Only so many hours…

So there are only 24 hours in a day.

And as student, that means if you’re taking a full course load, you spend every minute of minute day studying and learning and paving the way for your future.

As a full-time worker, that means that 70% of your day is devoted to working and maintaining a house.

As both, that means you literally have no time for anything else in the world besides studying and working. No time for eating or sleeping or friends or family. And everyone and their mother say they work full-time and take full-course loads but they’re lying.

There is not enough time in the day to work 9 hours plus the approximate (read: low-end estimate) 1 hours both way commute, then adding the maybe 4 hours of on campus classes, plus the resulting hour of homework and an hour of studying for each class (let’s say 4 classes) that’s a total of 22 hours of your day. Every day.

Sure courses can differ on days and employers can be flexible with your work days but I did this. I was taking 5 classes and working 36 hours a week. It’s not sustainable, and I was even breaking even every month.

So, in short, I’m sick and tired of people saying they’ve done this and that and been where I’ve been. Cause you haven’t. You haven’t done shit like me.

Rude ass people…

Nothing pisses me off more than people who come to my work and are the rudest people imaginable. Nothing.

If I am trying to do my job and I’m in the way, there is a simple fucking phrase for that: Excuse me. Learn to use it. Because all you people that show up to a store and forget basic fucking manners, fuck you.

And fuck your parents, too, for raising a completely useless waste of space.

And if you’re a parent and you are treating people like this in front of your kids, fuck you. Because you are raising a kid now that will perpetuate the issue with the service industry of people being treated as less than because they are providing you with a service that you think is below you.

When you come in as a customer and yell at a minimum-wage employee for no reason other than you can and you feel that you are the Customer Who Is Always Right, you make me want to shove me boot up your ass and slap some sense into you.

When you come in and yell at my co-workers who are working their first jobs and are sweet kids who haven’t had to deal with your shit 24/7 for the last six years, I want to ban you from my place of business and tell you to go grow your own groceries in your compost-laden brain hole. Because they don’t deserve you disrupting their day and making them feel like shit over shit they can’t control.

And one of these days, I’m going to disregard my priorities and go OFF. Just you wait.

Hustling…

You know what’s absolutely ridiculous? Hustle culture.

The idea that you can get ahead by working super hard on multiple ventures now so that when you’re 40 or 50 years old you can retire early with all your money you earned.

It’s bullshit.

It’s the corporate bullshit to get you to spend all your time and energy funneling your focus into side-gigs and investment opportunities on the off-chance you’ll get lucky and actually make money off it.

Are there blogs and forums and vlogs all devoted to how this person made this much with side hustles? Sure. Are they lying? Probably not.

Did they sacrifice a hell of a lot to get there? Damn straight.

Was it worth it? Probably not really.

Nothing is worth sacrificing your family and friends and time and energy and youth so you can make a quick buck. Nothing is worth sacrificing your health just to make an extra $100 a week to make rent.

Not to mention that the market has become so saturated for the sidegig market that any other lucky breaks are few and far between now. While all these other people are somehow miraculously making it with their sidegig and blog and vlog and etsy store, many others will not because they have the same skills as everyone else and cannot make it in a market already overflowing with suppliers.

I won’t sacrifice my health just to make an extra $20 a week. I might sell a kidney or my liver, but I sure as hell won’t lose any sleep just so I can work 18 hours a day. Fuck that.

Positivity…

I’m so fucking tired of this positivity craze going on.

I’m sure that having these mindsets are backed by science and shit but…

It can’t be healthy to be happy all the time. Sometimes you hurt and you wanna cry and you’re mad, but trying to smile through the pain is like trying to ignore a broken ankle.

I don’t see how being happy all the time is good for your health and well being if all you’re doing is ignoring the bad shit to keep on smiling.

Sure, those fancy herbal teas and sunlight and self-care bullshit is good for you (it’s basic fucking healthcare to stay hydrated, clean, fed, and given fresh air and sun), but doing those things instead of seeking help for your issues or just giving yourself the time to process the bad is a bullshit mentality.

You can’t go through life living only in the light. You have to live through some of the dark, too.

But then again, with how fucked up the world is, why are we going to put on those positivity blinders to try to diminish the way the world is floundering? We should be as angry and negative and bitter as the people who wrecked the world and give them a taste of their own medicine that they’ve been handing down for years to all the post-millennial/gen-z kids.

And I’m sure someone is going to lose their minds over this, and try to justify it to me, but guess what? I don’t care. I wouldn’t be where I am without my bitter, angry ass and I’m sure you can think of a time or two where you didn’t just smile and nod through it.

Working retail…

We are going to dive right in with this blog. So say hello to the first post and buckle your seatbelts ’cause this is going to be a bumpy af ride. 

I work retail. At one of the biggest retailers in the world.

And it is literal hell on earth.

Not only are the people I work with the literal rudest, most childish people, but nine times out of ten, the customers are the rudest, most stuck-up people you will ever meet.

And I get it; maybe you had a long day at work and now you have to go buy groceries cause your spouse didn’t and your kids are screaming and driving you up the wall.

But don’t take it out on me, the person who is literally trying to do my job and help you get your shit and go.

Now taking the people out of the equation, the work environment is shit. The hours are shit. Management is shit. The pay is SHIT.

Now, why am I working here if it is so damn shitty? Why don’t I just go get a new job or go to school?

Because I am in school. I have bills to pay in the mean time while I look for a better job. I cannot afford to live without a paycheck like some people.

So even though I am working at Hell, Inc., I still have bills to pay and mouths to feed. But goddamn am I the fucking Queen of this bullshit.