Category Archives: Uncategorized

Tarot 101: New deck…

So if you’ve seen my older posts about the Tarot deck, you’ve seen the kinda rinky deck I’ve been using.

So I thought I’d splurge and get a nicer deck.

Here are some shots of the brand new deck I got. I love it.

The deck is named Santa Muerte and was designed by Fabio Listrani.

And it’s absolutely gorgeous.

I don’t want to give all the neat things away about this deck. Consider this a teaser.

What I absolutely love about this deck is how it feels in your hands. It doesn’t have a cheap finish like my other deck, the cards slide together so smoothly and nicely. The cards are a traditional Tarot size and feel so nice to shuffle. Of course, the size is something I’m still adjusting to, but it fits nicely in my dainty hands.

Yes, I have dainty, girly hands. But if anything, I have to tell you all if a deck doesn’t fit nicely in my hands because then, maybe I can save the rest of you with dainty hands from investing in a deck that your heart loves but your hands can’t hold. A sadder love story never told.

But the colors are so bright and vibrant. The characters are depicted as skeletons (just in time for the spookiest season of the year). But the color correspondences in relation to certain numbers and suits… It makes my little witchy heart sing and my scholarly mind race. The characters are depicted in a much more unique way in comparison to the Rider-Waite deck and I feel much more easier to connect to this deck and its subtle meanings than in a traditional Tarot deck.

The characters depicted have such wonderful portrayals and emotions which is insane considering that the characters are skeletons, but the emotions and stories they portray are intense and just capture your attention.

And the book that comes with the deck? AMAZING! It takes a new look at the traditional cards and I love seeing the different meanings and different perspectives from this deck.

I’m planning on using this deck exclusively for online readings and such.

Let me know if you would like to see more, or if you would like more than a peek, let me know in the comments.

How to survive being an adult…

Adulting is hard.

Super super hard.

And every single adult sucks at it.

Every single post you see on Instagram about how pretty a desk looks and all that bs… It’s the biggest crock of bullshit.

I literally right now have no money in my bank account, mountains of dishes in the sink, my gas tank is riding E, and I’m a week away from payday.

Every single adult is lying about how good they are at being an adult. Some one may be really good at drinking the right amount of water and paying bills, but I can guarantee they suck at taking their car in for oil changes.

I know I’m good at paying bills and keeping my bathroom mostly clean (counters don’t count). My boyfriend/husband person is good at taking care of my our cars and doing the dishes.

However, we both really suck at eating right, drinking enough water and getting enough sleep.

So in conclusion, fuck being an adult. There is no real way to adult and there is no way to adult effectively. People over 40 have practice being adults and grew up in a time when they were allowed to make mistakes in secret, away from social media and the all-watching eyes of the internet.

Maybe we should start an internet campaign called #realadulting where we all post picks of our unfinished laundry and overflowing sinks and soap-scum crusted showers because hell, we’re here for a good time not a long time and sometimes, all the stupid shit that makes us ‘real adults’ gets put on the back burner.

I’m just so sick of everyone posting their damn fitness routines and meal plans and shit and bragging about how amazing they are. Fuck being a real adult. Fuck trying to squeeze in a fitness routine after working your ass off all day. Fuck ‘clean eating’ when you can’t afford to buy groceries on a regular basis. Fuck sleeping 8 hours a night when the only way to make rent is pulling double shifts and working side gigs like ride shares. Fuck drinking enough water when you can barely keep your eyes open half the time (from working all the damn time) so you pound coffee after energy drink after latte after energy drink after coffee.

Fuck thriving as an adult when we can barely stand on our own two feet.

So go forth, fail spectacularly, and learn. Put off whatever can wait if it means you can take a minute to breath.

Student life: Scholarships…

Honestly, I feel like scholarships are an absolute waste of time and energy.

I spent almost 10 hours a week during my sophomore and junior years sifting through scholarship after scholarship to apply for. I spent so much time trying to find ones I even qualified to apply for.

And in the end?

Nothing. Not a single damn scholarship.

I had nothing to show for my efforts, nothing to show for hours I labored away.

Does this mean you shouldn’t apply for scholarships?


I feel like the market for scholarships is over-saturated and the people applying for scholarships are over-applying.

There’s no limit to applying for multiple scholarships and if some are lottery-based, then yeah, other kids are going to have a better chance at winning certain scholarships.

Honestly, if I could go back in time and spend those hours upon hours differently, I would’ve picked up a hobby or a sport or a club instead. Then I would’ve been able to narrow the field of my scholarship search.

But then again, my dear cousin, who I think is brilliant and talented, never won any scholarships for her photography, IB and AP scores, for being over 5 foot 10 as a girl, or for both parents being divorced.

It’s a flawed system, making children compete and jump through ridiculous hoops just to find money to better their future.

Working retail: culture…

I hate the culture of working in retail. I absolutely hate it.

So you’re asking, what about ‘retail culture’ do you hate?

The entire entitity that is retail.

I hate that you start in a position at this corporation and they go on and on about how wonderful the company is, with these benefits and this policy.

But it’s all a lie. It’s the culture of lying.

The policies they brag about don’t do shit for you, the employee.

The benefits they brag about don’t do enough for you, the employee.

I work every day in a place where men are constantly listened to before a woman opens her mouth. I work in a place where customers and employees alike are not only rude and aggreesive to me, but I work in a place where no matter who I talk to about it, they are allowed to act that way.

I have worked my ass off so much for the last year and where have I ended up? No where. Because the only place to go in that retail establishment is to go up the managerial ladder and get worked even harder until I either quit or collapse.

I work in a place where as an hourly manager, I was the only person not given the schedule they wanted, or given a schedule where I could work more effeciently.

And NOW! Now, that I’m out of that manager position, the person who has taken over is listened to more than me and people praise her to the moon and back for doing what they wouldn’t do for me.

I work in a place where we lie and cheat and scam every fucking day, not only our associates but our vendors and our selves.

We lie to ourselves every day when we walk through the doors to work and say to ourselves, ‘maybe, today won’t be so bad’, ‘maybe, today I’ll actually get my 15 minute break for once’, ‘maybe, today, I’ll get out of work without being harassed in any way’.

I fucking hate the culture around retail and the fact that we are used and abused like late-model Honda Civics are abused by first-time drivers and car guys that are too poor to afford a nicer car.

Long time no see…

Sorry kiddos. I’ve been working like crazy and haven’t taken the right time to keep on top of the blog bs.

My summer semester started on Monday so I’ve running around crazy between commuting an hour each way for classes, working 40 hours a week still and having to manage some home issues (broken pipes and all that jazz).

So I’m going to work better at updating and making sure I don’t fall off the radar entirely. Like I have for the last month or so.

Working retail: Dogs…

I fucking love dogs. I really do.

My dream is to own a cute little cabin in the woods and have at about 6 dogs and a little herb garden and a library and scare all the local children into thinking I’m a witch who will eat their souls.

The best part of my day at work is when people bring their dogs in.

Now, I know some of you are jumping to conclusions and shit, but let me say first; every single dog I have seen come into the store is better behaved than any of the children that run around screaming and breaking things and throwing stuff every where.

I even have a couple regulars who come in with their dogs (some are service dogs, of course) but it still makes me happy just to see them.

  • One couple comes in and they have this big beautiful Saint Bernard service dog and every time I see them, I imagine that putting that dog is soft and sweet. (I don’t ask because the dog is working and he’s on duty full-time)
  • One lady comes in with her sweet Golden Retriever, who i have pet and she is the sweetest thing and reminds me my golden who lives with my parents.
  • One lady came in a few weeks ago with her fat Dachshund, and I got to pet him and he was a sweetie and kept trying to get pets from everyone who passed by.
  • One man comes in with his dog sitting on his shoulder regularly. I have not pet this dog, but I love seeing this man come in, cause he wears a cowboy hat and his scruffy little dog perches on his shoulder like a parrot. It’s the oddest sight, but it makes me happy.
  • One man came in with his dog (I make faces when I see dogs at work because they just make me so happy), and he saw me make my stupid face and told his dog to go to me and I got to pet him and the dog gave me kisses and I fed him treats and it was the happiest day working retail because that dog was so sweet and the man was really nice about letting me pet his dog and give him treats.
  • One guy came in with his beefy pit bull and I was petting it when a lady came up and i was worried she was going to make a fuss over the dog being a pit bull, but actually just asked me and the man questions about the service dog laws for our area. The dog was very sweet and had this big blocky head.


These are the only fond memories I will hold of working retail. And I know what you’re all saying, if you loves dogs so much why don’t you just switch jobs to work at a doggy daycare or a kennel or something?  The short answer is I’m poor af. The long answer is that I cannot afford to switch jobs at the moment and expect to get paid the same amount I am currently getting paid because any job I find at a kennel or clinic or even retail will be at minimum wage and I can’t afford another year of working minimum wage if I want to go back to school or eat.

Student life: 5 things about dorm life…

One thing I hated about my freshman year was having to live in the dorms. It wasn’t that they weren’t nice, but the cost they added to my school was unreasonable.

And it was mandatory to live on campus. As in, unless I was able to provide some sort of proof that my direct kin (my parents only) lived in town was I able to petition to live off campus.

So, even though I had an aunt who lived 20 minutes from campus, I couldn’t petition to live off-campus with her because she wasn’t my direct relative.

So here I was, stuck in a room with a stranger. Which wasn’t horrible; she kept to her side, I kept to mine, we were courteous of each other. But we weren’t friends, which kind of sucked. Since we were both different majors, we didn’t have much to even begin to talk about to start a friendship.

Now, where I am going with this post? Some hard-earned advice; not the kind that came from the kids where everything worked out perfectly and they have the same exact perspective as everyone else to give.

This is the true shit no one else wants to say.

  1.  It’s not going to always be good.  You’ll have great days, don’t forget that, but more often than not you’re going to hate your room and roommate. There’s going to be days when the trash doesn’t get taken out, and you are stressing out from midterms and essays and group projects with people you can’t stand in a class you only took to balance out your class load. You could have the nicest, most courteous, considerate roommate and there will be days you get on each other’s nerves.
  2. Pinterest Boards are dirty liars. You can try to have the prettiest room and the best design and the prettiest notes, but the truth? You’re gonna abandon them in week 5 of the semester as you scramble to get everything done. You’re pretty comforter will be on your unmade bed as your desk becomes a collection zone of three-day old coffee mugs,, old notes, half-finished revisions, and a scattering of pens and note cards. You don’t intend to let it get that bad but between classes, study groups, clubs, and work, your Pinterest Ideal slips away. And there’s nothing wrong with that. (Check out my other post about my study tips  Student life: Study Tips that actually work… )
  3. It’s okay if you don’t take to dorm life. Dorm life is supposed to be that transition period between leaving your parents and getting a foothold into the real world to live on your own. But maybe your parents (or guardians, my grandmother taught me) didn’t completely fail you when they raised you, so they actually taught you how to maintain your own house like cleaning, cooking, and just minor maintenance. If you feel that itch to get your own place, just wait. Use this time to get a feel for the housing market in your area and save up some money for rent.
  4. It’s okay to not know your neighbors. All of my RA’s pushed for us to know each other and be friends. But let me tell you something; it’s okay if you don’t want to get to know your neighbors. Do you know all your neighbors at your parent’s house? Probably not. So it’s okay if you don’t know every one on your floor, because if you’re leaving in 6 months to a year (or they are), then it’s very unlikely that you’ll stay friends after you quit seeing each other every day.
  5. You’re going to take too much no matter what those fancy lists say. Just like you, I poured over packing list after packing list to see what I really needed to bring for my first time away from home. Now, I didn’t think I brought as much as my roommate did, but towards the middle of the semester, I realized all the things I had brought that I didn’t need or use. So much of it was clothes and shoes that I brought as a ‘just in case’ item, or books that I loved reading as a child and couldn’t part with but didn’t touch in my dorm room, or tons of blankets that I thought I would need but we kept the dorm at a livable temperature. Some of the things you’ll bring will be for those ‘just in cases’ and the ‘better to have it and not need it’ things (lightbulbs, flashlights, first aid kits, etc.). It’s difficult to determine what you’ll need exactly until you get up there and spend your first few weeks on your own. But don’t feel guilty, like I did, when I realized all the extra stuff I brought for no reason. Instead I used it as an opportunity to downsize a little and donate some of my stuff to people who might actually need it.

This isn’t a comprehensive list of all the things you’ll learn living in a dorm your first year. Most of those horror stories you can google and dread about as other people complain about rude roommates, shitty rooms, tough RA’s, etc, etc.

I just thought I would shine a little light on that dream you have going on in your head that gets ruined the second week and makes you miserable because you wonder if this is all worth it.

Student life: Planning…

No one asks me anything often. Especially about school. Other than ‘When are you going to be done with school? (insert snide sneer)’. Whenever I damn well please, Karen. (there’s no Karen, just needed a name).

But seriously, so many people are out there sharing this and that about how they do school and work and a social life and extracurricular and etc, etc. All I’m saying is that it’s incredibly improbable that all these people are actually so booked up and meticulously planned out for the next 8 years of their life.

Cause I call bullshit.

The best laid plans are always upset. Always.

So is it impossible to be completely organized and planned out? Sure. That’s why I follow the backup-plan method. As in, you make a backup plans to all your regular plans. Especially where those plans can fall through.

For example:

If my plan is to graduate in four years using a full ride scholarship, I call this plan A. Therefore, if my scholarship falls through I have a plan B to have a part-time gig to help cover costs and save money.

Then, I keep planning for all the major variables that can fall through or change, to keep myself from being surprised or knocked off track.

But even planning like this can’t take into account those unplanned events (deaths, marriages, running from the law, etc.).

So all those people who preach about their plans and all those kids who graduate 5 years early, they’re bullshitting you.

I’m not going to preach that my plans are better than anyone else’s. I’m just here to vgive you the honest truth. Besides, if my shit was so good, do you think I would be working for slightly-better-than-minimum at a retail giant? No. Wasting my life in retail and almost failing out of college was not my life plan.