You know what the most ridiculous thing in the world is? Men HAVING to propose with a diamond ring to their girlfriend.
It’s completely impractical.
Why would I want a shiny rock that’s worth more than a car that I will use only as a status symbol to show that I’m desirable enough to marry?
I want something usable, something practical. I don’t need jewelry.
Get me a house, or a new car, or even a stick of gum. Just not jewelry.
Or hell, don’t even propose. Just toss me over your shoulder like the barely-evolved caveman you are and drag me back to your cave. It makes more sense than spending too much money on a simple little ring that can get lost or stolen or broken.
Or if you really want to propose to me, get me a fucking Ringpop or something. Candy jewelry. Something besides jewelry I will never wear because I can’t stand rings and necklaces get in the way when I work, and bracelets snap and earrings get lost all the time.
What would you rather pay; $5,000+ on an engagement ring (plus another like $3k or so for the wedding band?) or like $1 on a Ringpop, or if you’re feeling splurge-y, maybe like $20 for a modest bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt proposal.
If you could go back and propose with something other than a diamond ring, would you?
This post also ties back to my previous posts on Weddings…
Being the side ho in a relationship is rough.
Especially when your boyfriend is basically married to his jeep.
You know this kind of guy; his car gets more parts with each paycheck, he washes it every weekend (complete with waxing and full interior detailing), he kisses it goodnight, one funny sound and he’ll spend the next 24 hours worrying about it like his car is going to die… You know these guys.
But nobody talks about the side ho; the wives and girlfriends who put up with this nonsense. Who watch their men sitting in the driveway with their cars watching the sunset. Who have to plan their weekends around the car shows and races and ‘tune-ups’ (i call it that because nothing is getting tuned, it’s just the activity of a man standing in his driveway for 4 hours fiddling with parts on his car for no reason).
And then your man looks at you like you’re the crazy one when you say that this new car is alright, or when you only shrug about going to the racetrack this weekend.
I love my man, I really do, but I did not think I was getting into a polygamous relationship that involved a car.
And jeep guys are some of the worst ones out there.
I don’t know what it is about them, but dear god once a man gets bitten by the Mopar bug, he will drop your ass faster than slow wifi just to spend time with his jeep.
At least he’s not clingy.
Weddings are absolutely pointless in this day and age.
Maybe back in the day it was just an excuse to get the whole village together and party, but today?
I can go down to the court house with my chosen spouse and sign a marriage license. I could be married by lunch today if I had a consenting partner.
Yet this “traditional” way of celebrating a civil partnership by dropping thousands and thousands of dollars on a one-time event where the couple force their friends and families to jump through outrageous hoops (you’ve seen those bridezilla stories) just to show up to eat some food and get drunk in fancy clothing.
And that’s not even taking into account the couples where the families are ultra-controlling and try to make a dream wedding by their standards instead of what the couple wants.
Knowing exactly how my family will act if I ever decide to ‘settle down’, I’m eloping. Then my grandmother can’t criticize my dress, my parents can’t lament the bill they won’t even be paying, my spouse’s parents won’t have to gripe about the wedding theme/colors, and I won’t have to listen to my friends bitch and moan about how I didn’t pick them for my bridal party.
Of course, this doesn’t mean I haven’t picked out my wedding dress. You can’t elope without looking the part.
So there are only 24 hours in a day.
And as student, that means if you’re taking a full course load, you spend every minute of minute day studying and learning and paving the way for your future.
As a full-time worker, that means that 70% of your day is devoted to working and maintaining a house.
As both, that means you literally have no time for anything else in the world besides studying and working. No time for eating or sleeping or friends or family. And everyone and their mother say they work full-time and take full-course loads but they’re lying.
There is not enough time in the day to work 9 hours plus the approximate (read: low-end estimate) 1 hours both way commute, then adding the maybe 4 hours of on campus classes, plus the resulting hour of homework and an hour of studying for each class (let’s say 4 classes) that’s a total of 22 hours of your day. Every day.
Sure courses can differ on days and employers can be flexible with your work days but I did this. I was taking 5 classes and working 36 hours a week. It’s not sustainable, and I was even breaking even every month.
So, in short, I’m sick and tired of people saying they’ve done this and that and been where I’ve been. Cause you haven’t. You haven’t done shit like me.
Nothing pisses me off more than people who come to my work and are the rudest people imaginable. Nothing.
If I am trying to do my job and I’m in the way, there is a simple fucking phrase for that: Excuse me. Learn to use it. Because all you people that show up to a store and forget basic fucking manners, fuck you.
And fuck your parents, too, for raising a completely useless waste of space.
And if you’re a parent and you are treating people like this in front of your kids, fuck you. Because you are raising a kid now that will perpetuate the issue with the service industry of people being treated as less than because they are providing you with a service that you think is below you.
When you come in as a customer and yell at a minimum-wage employee for no reason other than you can and you feel that you are the Customer Who Is Always Right, you make me want to shove me boot up your ass and slap some sense into you.
When you come in and yell at my co-workers who are working their first jobs and are sweet kids who haven’t had to deal with your shit 24/7 for the last six years, I want to ban you from my place of business and tell you to go grow your own groceries in your compost-laden brain hole. Because they don’t deserve you disrupting their day and making them feel like shit over shit they can’t control.
And one of these days, I’m going to disregard my priorities and go OFF. Just you wait.
For those of you who want to know a little about me, I figured I would write down some basics for all of you out there to imagine about me while you think of your dream girl as you lie in bed, waiting to fall asleep.
I love dogs. A lot. More than people. I would kill a man just to pet a dog.
I love coffee. I once threatened an ex who wanted to go camping with me. I told him that I would castrate him if he spoke to me before I had coffee. I was not joking. He thought I was.
I am not here to make money. I am here to vent all my bullshit in a way that won’t ruin my personal relationships.
I am a great cook.
I make the best jokes. Will I ever tell them? Probably not. But they’re pretty damn good.
I am utterly bitter and horrible. Like a cup of black coffee, but while you may think it’s still warm enough to drink its actually room temperature and leaves a bad taste in your mouth because you were expecting hot and delicious not cold and disappointing.
In summary, I am cold, bitter, and disappointing. However, some people like this.
You know what’s absolutely ridiculous? Hustle culture.
The idea that you can get ahead by working super hard on multiple ventures now so that when you’re 40 or 50 years old you can retire early with all your money you earned.
It’s the corporate bullshit to get you to spend all your time and energy funneling your focus into side-gigs and investment opportunities on the off-chance you’ll get lucky and actually make money off it.
Are there blogs and forums and vlogs all devoted to how this person made this much with side hustles? Sure. Are they lying? Probably not.
Did they sacrifice a hell of a lot to get there? Damn straight.
Was it worth it? Probably not really.
Nothing is worth sacrificing your family and friends and time and energy and youth so you can make a quick buck. Nothing is worth sacrificing your health just to make an extra $100 a week to make rent.
Not to mention that the market has become so saturated for the sidegig market that any other lucky breaks are few and far between now. While all these other people are somehow miraculously making it with their sidegig and blog and vlog and etsy store, many others will not because they have the same skills as everyone else and cannot make it in a market already overflowing with suppliers.
I won’t sacrifice my health just to make an extra $20 a week. I might sell a kidney or my liver, but I sure as hell won’t lose any sleep just so I can work 18 hours a day. Fuck that.
I’m so fucking tired of this positivity craze going on.
I’m sure that having these mindsets are backed by science and shit but…
It can’t be healthy to be happy all the time. Sometimes you hurt and you wanna cry and you’re mad, but trying to smile through the pain is like trying to ignore a broken ankle.
I don’t see how being happy all the time is good for your health and well being if all you’re doing is ignoring the bad shit to keep on smiling.
Sure, those fancy herbal teas and sunlight and self-care bullshit is good for you (it’s basic fucking healthcare to stay hydrated, clean, fed, and given fresh air and sun), but doing those things instead of seeking help for your issues or just giving yourself the time to process the bad is a bullshit mentality.
You can’t go through life living only in the light. You have to live through some of the dark, too.
But then again, with how fucked up the world is, why are we going to put on those positivity blinders to try to diminish the way the world is floundering? We should be as angry and negative and bitter as the people who wrecked the world and give them a taste of their own medicine that they’ve been handing down for years to all the post-millennial/gen-z kids.
And I’m sure someone is going to lose their minds over this, and try to justify it to me, but guess what? I don’t care. I wouldn’t be where I am without my bitter, angry ass and I’m sure you can think of a time or two where you didn’t just smile and nod through it.
We are going to dive right in with this blog. So say hello to the first post and buckle your seatbelts ’cause this is going to be a bumpy af ride.
I work retail. At one of the biggest retailers in the world.
And it is literal hell on earth.
Not only are the people I work with the literal rudest, most childish people, but nine times out of ten, the customers are the rudest, most stuck-up people you will ever meet.
And I get it; maybe you had a long day at work and now you have to go buy groceries cause your spouse didn’t and your kids are screaming and driving you up the wall.
But don’t take it out on me, the person who is literally trying to do my job and help you get your shit and go.
Now taking the people out of the equation, the work environment is shit. The hours are shit. Management is shit. The pay is SHIT.
Now, why am I working here if it is so damn shitty? Why don’t I just go get a new job or go to school?
Because I am in school. I have bills to pay in the mean time while I look for a better job. I cannot afford to live without a paycheck like some people.
So even though I am working at Hell, Inc., I still have bills to pay and mouths to feed. But goddamn am I the fucking Queen of this bullshit.