Tag Archives: lifestyle

Patience…

I’m not going to lie; I am not patient at all.

Which has gotten me into a few pickles over the last few years.

Coupled with my incurable pride, I am an utter disaster. But I’m also a force to be reconned with.

Unfortunately, I feel like this makes me a bit of a hassle on my family as I completely disregard what they think I should be doing with my life. I didn’t think that living on my own and going to school when I can is something to frown upon, but the way my parents huff and sigh is astounding.

I rushed into college life straight out of high school while ignoring the price tag because I thought I could make it work. This led to me returning home and living with my parents for about a year and half to get back on my feet.

Then I went back to school, thinking I could make it work. But once again, I had to leave. But that brings us to where I am today (see, not some long, convoluted anecdote about how my life choices have been valuable lessons.). So I took a job in retail and that’s where I’ve been the last year or so trying to get back to where I wanted to be.

Now, what ifs plague me constantly. Like, what if I had stayed home with my parents instead of paying over $14K out of pocket for a semester of school just to leave? Or what if I had wasted a year at community college doing my extracurricular courses before transferring to  a four year school? What if I had stayed at my first job that I had when I was 16 and worked my way up in the company? Or what if I had been able to make it all work and was about to graduate?

I know you’re asking ‘what the hell is the point, woman? Are you going to give me some great life advice or something? Or are you selling a time-machine to go back and let us all redo our lives?’ I wish, friends.

I’m not going to give you any advice. Everyone gives advice about moving past your bad decisions. Like, just put it behind you and look forward. Or, everyday is an opportunity to do better. And my personal favorite, the only place to go when you hit bottom is up.

But I just wanted you all to know that I’m not perfect. I don’t want you all to think that I am, or that I know best about everything I write about. I just want you all to see a different perspective than what you’ve heard a million times over.

Why I’m doing this…

So I just want to clear the air. I’m not here to blog and make money off all you people on the internet. There’s enough of that going around. Would I like to make a little cash here and there from my blog? Hell yeah. But I’m not working to turn this into the ‘full-time career’ that every other blogger brags about.

Because that’s just not feasible. At all. How are these people able to quit their jobs as productive members of society just to sit around all day and rake in money from other hard-working people? I don’t want to quit my job to blog all day (I do want to quit because retail sucks ass, but because I want to blog all day).

I love working, and I know that some things just can’t be accomplished yet with technology, like stocking shelves or mopping floors (okay, I know rumbas are a thing, but those aren’t good for commercial places yet). I don’t want to sit back and let the cash roll in.

I’m blogging just to get some of what I think out into the great internet void. Because you can only complain so much to the people you know. And it’s fun to watch people to get all pissy because I’m throwing their lying asses under the bus for trying to mislead regular people into thinking that all their problems can be solved with a simple blog post and some affiliate links.

So don’t think I’m doing this just to get money from you or to live off the system and money made from other people’s generosity. I’m just here to scream into the void.

Problems with authority…

So, I have a little problem with authority.

Just a little one.

I really can’t stand it when someone tries to tell how to live my life. I don’t get how some people just accept the little demands and orders throughout the day.

I literally cut 3 inches of my hair off after my boyfriend jokingly told me I wasn’t allowed to cut my hair cause he liked it longer.

I stayed out all night because my parents tried to tell me, at 19 (a young adult who worked full-time and paid my bills), that I couldn’t stay out all night on a Friday night.

I got a tattoo because my grandmother hates them.

I refuse to get married because that’s what everyone in my family expects of me.

I have literally lived my life looking people dead in the eyes and doing the exact thing they just told me not to. Why should I have to listen to your rules when you don’t apply them to yourselves?

Why tie yourself to someone else’s expectations? Nothing is holding you back except your opinion of someone else. Who cares what your mom expects or your boss or your sister or you spouse or your mentor? You have to set your own deadlines and goals and expectations and tell them to fuck off.

The only person you share your headspace with is you. Don’t disappoint you. Disappoint everyone else because they put you on a pedestal. But don’t disappoint yourself.

 

Fashion…

Fashion is stupid. Exceedingly stupid.

Clothes for women are so impractical; either too short, too thin, too cutesy, too slutty, or too old-fashioned.

I can dress in a short skirt and be called a slut, only because I am showing off my legs (oh god no, not legs! that’s too damn sexy).

I can wear a cropped sweater and be called dumb because no sweaters are a normal length.

I can wear a professional blouse and freeze half of the day because it’s made from the thinnest materials available (why? people don’t want to see my nipples when I’m giving a presentation).

I can wear a moderate length skirt and get dirty looks for not dressing my age. (Oh god, now I’m not showing enough leg! Where will the madness end!)

Or I can wear a simple t-shirt with unicorns and rainbows on it and look like I’m an 8 year old girl (even though I pay taxes and vote).

There’s no winning unless you start wearing men’s clothing and then people judge you based on stereotypes of sexuality.

Like, what do you people want from women? We can’t be naked unless it’s on paper and we can’t wear practical clothing unless we’re crazy, old, lonely, cat ladies and we can’t wear 90% of clothing available without getting shit for it. So what do you want?

Nosy Relatives: Marriage…

I hate when you go see a relative and they start pushing about your relationships (sometimes, the lack thereof).

I just celebrated 3 years of dating with my boyfriend. And we’re perfectly happy where we are right now; living together, raising pets, and just trying to make our way in the world.

But the number of looks I have seen in the last week when I tell them we’ve been  together for three years. I swear, there is nothing more irritating than people giving me looks like I should be dropping hints that we need to get hitched.

I don’t have to drop hints. We’re adults that talk about our future together like adults and make big decisions together. I don’t need Auntie Nancy butting into our business and trying to push us in a direction we don’t feel comfortable taking as a couple (Auntie Nancy isn’t a real person, btw). I don’t care that everyone over 40 got married in their late teens/ early twenties, that’s not a feasible concept anymore, especially for work benefits, taxes, student loans debt and regular debt incurred just trying to live.

But the worst part of the nosy relative trying to drop hints? That you’re not involved in the relationship to begin with. You may be related to one party of the couple, and you could be their closest friend, but that doesn’t mean you have any form of say in what the couple decides is best for them. You don’t get to push your son into proposing because you think he should be settled down by 25, like you were. Hell, you probably don’t even really know what your relative wants from their relationship or from life. Maybe they want to travel the world before marrying, maybe they want to be well-off enough to be able to provide a house instead of an apartment to their new spouse, maybe they want to pay off their student loans so that they don’t wrangle their new spouse into helping them pay it off.

So when I get those looks from friends and family, I have to fight to bite my tongue lest I say something truly regretful. Because the last thing I want to talk about is how my marriage is failing because I married someone after 1 year, while still in the honeymoon stage of a relationship, and then realized that the person I am now married to and raising children with is not compatible with me. Oh wait…

Proposals…

You know what the most ridiculous thing in the world is? Men HAVING to propose with a diamond ring to their girlfriend.

It’s completely impractical.

Why would I want a shiny rock that’s worth more than a car that I will use only as a status symbol to show that I’m desirable enough to marry?

I want something usable, something practical. I don’t need jewelry.

Get me a house, or a new car, or even a stick of gum. Just not jewelry.

Or hell, don’t even propose. Just toss me over your shoulder like the barely-evolved caveman you are and drag me back to your cave. It makes more sense than spending too much money on a simple little ring that can get lost or stolen or broken.

Or if you really want to propose to me, get me a fucking Ringpop or something. Candy jewelry. Something besides jewelry I will  never wear because I can’t stand rings and necklaces get in the way when I work, and bracelets snap and earrings get lost all the time.

What would you rather pay; $5,000+ on an engagement ring (plus another like $3k or so for the wedding band?) or like $1 on a Ringpop, or if you’re feeling splurge-y, maybe like $20 for a modest bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt proposal.

If you could go back and propose with something other than a diamond ring, would you?

This post also ties back to my previous posts on Weddings… 

Side ho…

Being the side ho in a relationship is rough.

Especially when your boyfriend is basically married to his jeep.

You know this kind of guy; his car gets more parts with each paycheck, he washes it every weekend (complete with waxing and full interior detailing), he kisses it goodnight, one funny sound and he’ll spend the next 24 hours worrying about it like his car is going to die… You know these guys.

But nobody talks about the side ho; the wives and girlfriends who put up with this nonsense. Who watch their men sitting in the driveway with their cars watching the sunset. Who have to plan their weekends around the car shows and races and ‘tune-ups’ (i call it that because nothing is getting tuned, it’s just the activity of a man standing in his driveway for 4 hours fiddling with parts on his car for no reason).

And then your man looks at you like you’re the crazy one when you say that this new car is alright, or when you only shrug about going to the racetrack this weekend.

I love my man, I really do, but I did not think I was getting into a polygamous relationship that involved a car.

And jeep guys are some of the worst ones out there.

I don’t know what it is about them, but dear god once a man gets bitten by the Mopar bug, he will drop your ass faster than slow wifi just to spend time with his jeep.

At least he’s not clingy.

Weddings…

Weddings are absolutely pointless in this day and age.

Maybe back in the day it was just an excuse to get the whole village together and party, but today?

I can go down to the court house with my chosen spouse and sign a marriage license. I could be married by lunch today if I had a consenting partner.

Yet this “traditional” way of celebrating a civil partnership by dropping thousands and thousands of dollars on a one-time event where the couple force their friends and families to jump through outrageous hoops (you’ve seen those bridezilla stories) just to show up to eat some food and get drunk in fancy clothing.

And that’s not even taking into account the couples where the families are ultra-controlling and try to make a dream wedding by their standards instead of what the couple wants.

Knowing exactly how my family will act if I ever decide to ‘settle down’, I’m eloping. Then my grandmother can’t criticize my dress, my parents can’t lament the bill they won’t even be paying, my spouse’s parents won’t have to gripe about the wedding theme/colors, and I won’t have to listen to my friends bitch and moan about how I didn’t pick them for my bridal party.

Of course, this doesn’t mean I haven’t picked out my wedding dress. You can’t elope without looking the part.

Only so many hours…

So there are only 24 hours in a day.

And as student, that means if you’re taking a full course load, you spend every minute of minute day studying and learning and paving the way for your future.

As a full-time worker, that means that 70% of your day is devoted to working and maintaining a house.

As both, that means you literally have no time for anything else in the world besides studying and working. No time for eating or sleeping or friends or family. And everyone and their mother say they work full-time and take full-course loads but they’re lying.

There is not enough time in the day to work 9 hours plus the approximate (read: low-end estimate) 1 hours both way commute, then adding the maybe 4 hours of on campus classes, plus the resulting hour of homework and an hour of studying for each class (let’s say 4 classes) that’s a total of 22 hours of your day. Every day.

Sure courses can differ on days and employers can be flexible with your work days but I did this. I was taking 5 classes and working 36 hours a week. It’s not sustainable, and I was even breaking even every month.

So, in short, I’m sick and tired of people saying they’ve done this and that and been where I’ve been. Cause you haven’t. You haven’t done shit like me.

My hopes and dreams…

  1. To never have to work retail again
  2. To own 5 dogs, big fluffy ones
  3. To live in the woods, in a cozy little cabins
  4. To have a room where 2 walls have floor to ceiling windows and the other two have floor to ceiling bookshelves. Full of books. Duh.
  5. To punch a Nazi in the face
  6. To never have to get up before sunrise to go to a shitty deadend job
  7. To brawl in a Waffle House parking lot once before I die

Who I am…

For those of you who want to know a little about me, I figured I would write down some basics for all of you out there to imagine about me while you think of your dream girl as you lie in bed, waiting to fall asleep.

I love dogs. A lot. More than people. I would kill a man just to pet a dog.

I love coffee. I once threatened an ex who wanted to go camping with me. I told him that I would castrate him if he spoke to me before I had coffee. I was not joking. He thought I was.

I am not here to make money. I am here to vent all my bullshit in a way that won’t ruin my personal relationships.

I am a great cook.

I make the best jokes. Will I ever tell them? Probably not. But they’re pretty damn good.

I am utterly bitter and horrible. Like a cup of black coffee, but while you may think it’s still warm enough to drink its actually room temperature and leaves a bad taste in your mouth because you were expecting hot and delicious not cold and disappointing.

In summary, I am cold, bitter, and disappointing. However, some people like this.

Hustling…

You know what’s absolutely ridiculous? Hustle culture.

The idea that you can get ahead by working super hard on multiple ventures now so that when you’re 40 or 50 years old you can retire early with all your money you earned.

It’s bullshit.

It’s the corporate bullshit to get you to spend all your time and energy funneling your focus into side-gigs and investment opportunities on the off-chance you’ll get lucky and actually make money off it.

Are there blogs and forums and vlogs all devoted to how this person made this much with side hustles? Sure. Are they lying? Probably not.

Did they sacrifice a hell of a lot to get there? Damn straight.

Was it worth it? Probably not really.

Nothing is worth sacrificing your family and friends and time and energy and youth so you can make a quick buck. Nothing is worth sacrificing your health just to make an extra $100 a week to make rent.

Not to mention that the market has become so saturated for the sidegig market that any other lucky breaks are few and far between now. While all these other people are somehow miraculously making it with their sidegig and blog and vlog and etsy store, many others will not because they have the same skills as everyone else and cannot make it in a market already overflowing with suppliers.

I won’t sacrifice my health just to make an extra $20 a week. I might sell a kidney or my liver, but I sure as hell won’t lose any sleep just so I can work 18 hours a day. Fuck that.

Positivity…

I’m so fucking tired of this positivity craze going on.

I’m sure that having these mindsets are backed by science and shit but…

It can’t be healthy to be happy all the time. Sometimes you hurt and you wanna cry and you’re mad, but trying to smile through the pain is like trying to ignore a broken ankle.

I don’t see how being happy all the time is good for your health and well being if all you’re doing is ignoring the bad shit to keep on smiling.

Sure, those fancy herbal teas and sunlight and self-care bullshit is good for you (it’s basic fucking healthcare to stay hydrated, clean, fed, and given fresh air and sun), but doing those things instead of seeking help for your issues or just giving yourself the time to process the bad is a bullshit mentality.

You can’t go through life living only in the light. You have to live through some of the dark, too.

But then again, with how fucked up the world is, why are we going to put on those positivity blinders to try to diminish the way the world is floundering? We should be as angry and negative and bitter as the people who wrecked the world and give them a taste of their own medicine that they’ve been handing down for years to all the post-millennial/gen-z kids.

And I’m sure someone is going to lose their minds over this, and try to justify it to me, but guess what? I don’t care. I wouldn’t be where I am without my bitter, angry ass and I’m sure you can think of a time or two where you didn’t just smile and nod through it.