Spite not sugar…

Remember when you were having a hard time in elementary school with someone and you would ask your parents for help and they would say ‘kill them with kindness?’

And remember how frustrated you were because Stacy was not going to be nice to you first and why should you be nice first to some dumb slide-hog? And you would moan ‘but mom, killing her with kindness isn’t going to work!’ And you were right, because your mom had never met Stacy or knew what a raging cold-hearted bitch she was.

But then as you grew up, it was still the same advice of ‘kill them with kindness’. Well, do I have news for you friends.

You can now cut them from your life spitefully and still live a great life.

But that’s not the only place I’m going with Spite. Spite is what makes the world go round, not kindness. You don’t see drug lords and politicians being nice to regular people 9 times out of 10. You don’t see your managers at work being completely nice to everyone.

Maybe you’re afraid to take that leap into being a bitter hag like me. So let me tell you a thing; hate is just as passionate as love. You get as much emotional energy from hating something as you do loving something. So why not live in spite of everything?

When you harness spite as an emotional energy source, you feel more motivated to get shit done just so you don’t have to do it again. You feel more pressure from yourself to get that stupid meeting over with or to finish up that dumb project with so-and-so.

I live in spite of my foundations. I decided that I hated how I grew up and the foundations my family provided so I decided I was going to turn that hate into something productive. When I finally finish school, I’ll be the first doctor in my entire family. The first.

To hell with all the bullshit ‘good vibes only’ and ‘thinking positive’. I’m positive I’m going to get further than half of those wackos who only want to be positive and I’m positive I’ll have better emotional health because I’m not trying to push aside my negative thoughts or my ‘bad’ emotions.

I want you all to give me an example of how killing with kindness has worked for you, because in all my life and all my experiences I’ve never seen it work. So comment below and tell me why I’m wrong.

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Cool Collectibles…

I thought today I would share the coolest collectible that no one thought of. Except my dad.

Shot glasses.

You know, all those kitschy tourist stop ones that you see when you go on vacation. The kind you pick up for Joe back home because you forgot to get him a real souvenir from your trip to Idaho. My dad actually collects them.

He picks them up when we go on family vacations and now, all us adult kids pick him up one or two when we go someplace neat on our own vacations.

I can see the awe blooming in your mind as you realize the countless possibilities you’ve been blind to all these years. Those kitschy mugs in tourist traps (which I personally collect because you can never have too many mugs), those key chains, or maybe you’re going to go outside the box. Maybe you’ll collect water from local water ways in jars to bring back home to display.

It’s just a really cool conversation piece really and I want more people to know about how neat it is. Like you come into the living room and there’s these shelves just full of shot glasses. Your eye is drawn to them. You start talking about them. He talks about where the cooler ones came from, you talk about the places you’ve been. Boom. New friendship right there.

I know what you’re thinking now. ‘I used to hate when I got those stupid shot glasses. It was like they forgot about me!’ Turn it into a collect now. Set them up on a shelf and make them wall art. Turn the bad into something cool.

How to: Whiskey Hot Toddy…

You know those days when it’s cold af out and you just want to crawl under 20 blankets to escape the cold that has seeped into your bones. Well do I have the cure for you. It’s easy and delicious and alcoholic. The best of all worlds.

Prep time: approximately 10 minutes (however long it takes for water to boil in your area with your preferred method)

What you need:

  • A mug of some kind
  • Some whiskey, 1 shot
  • Some hot water
  • honey, however much you want to make this shit taste good
  • a touch of lemon, either fresh-squeezed if that’s your thing or do what I do and buy the bottle of lemon juice at the store for other recipes

Directions

  1. Heat up the water. Whether you do this in your microwave, in a kettle, in pot, just heat that shit up so it’s hot.
  2. Put your shot your cup. Pour the water in the cup.
  3. Put in a smidge of lemon juice.
  4. Pour honey and stir until it is to your liking.
  5. Done! Enjoy!

Super easy. Uses shit you got in your pantry. Warms you up inside out. And who doesn’t love a little something extra for those bland drinks you usually have to live with.

Fashion: My favorite accessories…

This post has some affiliate links listed below, so if you decide to click on the links and buy that item, I get a little money as well, at no extra cost to you. 

I live a very busy life. Like, super busy all the time.

So I figured I would make a list of all the tings I carry with me day to day.

    1. Lip balm
    2. Wallet
    3. Phone (duh)
    4. Lighter Here’s one that I carry cause it’s cool af  Zippo Dragon Tattoo Lighter
    5. Butterfly knife (now fair warning, this is legal to have in my area but maybe not yours, check local laws first friends)
    6. Journal Here’s one I LOVE and the journal inserts I use  Refillable Leather Journal and Set of 6 Travel Journal Inserts
    7. Pack of smokes
    8. Lipstick (right now I’m using Mally Beauty Lip Crayon in Chic Cherry)
    9. Mascara ( get some Elf brand from your local store, it’s cheap and better damn good)
    10. Pens

Now, most of this stuff I do carry in a bag, but it’s never a huge bag. I love backpacks or messenger bags because they’re a bit more manageable and lasting than normal shoulder bags in my experience. Below are some of the bags I use or would definitely get in the future. (these are picture affiliate links, so if you click on the picture it will take you to the page where you can buy the item if interested. See my affiliate link disclosure at the top of the post)

 


My new thing…

So recently I’ve developed a new hobby so to speak.

It’s an old hobby rich in tradition and history

It’s been becoming popular again after falling off the map for a bit, since it seemed to have fallen out of style for one reason of another.

This hobby has ages of books to sift through not to mention all the new blogs and forums devoted to it.

Need another hint?

One word.

Starts with a consonant.

Guess in the comments below 😉

Student life: How to bounce back from a bad semester…

First thing first: don’t panic.

Shit happens. Don’t start freaking out on me. That’s rule #1 in any survival situation.

So take a deep breath.

Step 1: Don’t shut down yet. 

I know how it is at the end of the semester. You’re exhausted. You’re sick of staying up late and getting up early and you want to eat anything other than ramen. But don’t get into vacation mode just yet.

If you’re already there, then wait two weeks before the new semester and start prepping for class then.

You don’t want to shut down just yet because you need to keep the wheels moving while you’re in that school mentality.

Now, I know what you’re thinking; Why the fuck am I going to keep studying and working after I turned in my 20 page paper and finished my Chem Final?

Because this is where we unfuck the next semester.

Step 2: Unfucking yourself

This is the nitty-grtitty of it. You should be registered for your next semester and have the resources available. (If not, no big deal, we’ll come back to you later).

Think through the past semester and jot down all the times you know you fucked yourself over for school. Was it an extra shift at work? Maybe a first date that had you primping for over an hour and half? Or a birthday party for your grandma?

Jot down all these instances. Literally, put it on paper because you’re going to need a physical form for you to see this.

Now everything that was optional and you could’ve lived without doing, put a star next to it. Everything that was necessary and unavoidable, cross out. Examples of both are; a night spent out drinking with friends from high school you don’t exactly like a lot – optional and unnecessary. Grandma’s 90th birthday party – necessary (unless you got a grandma like me and she wants you to study instead of party so she uninvites you to her party).

Every unnecessary instance (starred) will show you were you dropped the ball on time management. Maybe you got caught up in a new Netflix show. Maybe you dated someone before a messy breakup. But now, you’re wiser than at the start of the semester and can learn from this mistake.

Maybe this means you have to stop hanging out with your friends in the sorority because as nice as they are, they aren’t on the same major as you and don’t have to work as hard to be an architect as to be a doctor. Maybe this means you have to cut your crazy uncle out of your life for a while because he only shows up to bum some cash, couch surf, and party. Maybe this means you have to take a break from your S.O. because while they may be studying history and you’re studying Literature, they may distract you from getting your work done.

This may seem like a shitty thing to do, but you have to remember that you are racking up a huge bill to get a step further in the world. You can’t cater to anyone else’s feelings right now. This is your time to grow and those in your life need to understand that or they need to get out. So tell them either get behind you or get our of the way, because you can’t make it through this journey with half-assed support and people dragging you down and turning your attention away from getting this shit done once and for all.

Step 3: Plan, Plan, Plan, and Plan some more

This is also why you need to be stuck in that studying mindset still.

You have to make a real plan for the next semester. I know that I’ve screwed up a semester or two because I went against my plan and let myself be spontaneous as any college kid does. DO NOT KEEP DOING THIS!

While it’s good to live a little, you are spending thousands of dollars to learn and grow, and spending 4 years being studious and boring is better than spending 10 years stuck in a dead-end job because you dropped out of college.

Everyone will tell you to enjoy your youth while you have it and to live it up while you can, but let me tell you something; we’re here for a good time, not here for a long time, so live it up small but don’t leave yourself SOL when you need cash or time or a better job.

So plan out your study time and work schedule now to get a jump on telling your managers when you’ll be available. This is also a good time to think about if you may need help for next semester. Look into study groups or tutoring for those classes that keep coming back to haunt you. Look at what messed you up this semester; was it poorly written notes? Was it ineffective study groups? Was it Netflix? Was it spending too much making flash cards instead of reviewing them?

So figure out a game plan for the next semester.

Step 4: Let it go 

No, not the song.

Well, kind of like the song.

Just make your peace with this semester. Time marches on and soon this will be just a challenge you overcame for grad school application essays. Now, I know you’re thinking, how am I supposed to get over the worst time in my life? This is so horrible and I’ll never get over it. I’m a disgrace and a waste of space…

I’ll tell you how. You should still be sitting down looking at your plan. Take a deep breath. Now tell yourself the truth; you messed up, but guess what? You’re cleaning up your mess and you’re going to make it better.

So if you need a strong drink and a good cry to make your peace, well you and me both, friend.

Pop songs…

You know what really gets me going in the mornings?

Besides my three pots of coffee and the blood of my enemies.

Really girly pop songs.

No, seriously. This generation has come out with some of the best pop songs from girl groups and solo acts, all of which are finally yelling at little girls that they don’t need to be sexy and stuck up to be popular.

I love Fifth Harmony, and Taylor Swift, and Beyonce, and the amount of female rappers breaking into the industry warms my cold, shriveled heart.

I love that I can listen to the radio and not hear the same damn song preaching about how some girl just wants to fall in love and settle down with her dream boy ( I know early in Taylor Swift’s career she did this, but she has since evolved as an artist and has literally grown up). Now we have multiple ballads screaming how girls night out should stay girls night out, how the haters are just haters, how focusing on your ambitions will net you more than a man will.

I love a sappy romance song as much as the next gal, but when I get to hear those jams about working your ass off as a woman, I just want to cry tears of joy.

Because the industry is finally understanding. They finally get that their market is younger than preteens, that these girls are going to change the world and they need the right background music to do it (yes, the market is just in it to make a quick buck off this whole ‘woman power’ movement but we have to take our victories where we can).

No, this isn’t some feminist rant about how the music industry sucks for promoting XYZ artist or genre.

This is a declaration that I’m so happy these jams by educated women are available because growing up, I didn’t here anything as amazing as that. I had the same bullshit of party jam or breakup ballad. And now we have single lady party jams, we have hustle jams (not promoting side-hustles but damn is it nice to have a song or two promoting working hard), we have those jams about a lady shutting those dickwads down before they can even get close to her.

And if you don’t like this kind of music, that’s fine. I’m not trying to push you into something new and amazing and actually fun to dance to in your kitchen with your best friends while you make nachos at 3 in the morning after clubbing all night.

 

Why I’m doing this…

So I just want to clear the air. I’m not here to blog and make money off all you people on the internet. There’s enough of that going around. Would I like to make a little cash here and there from my blog? Hell yeah. But I’m not working to turn this into the ‘full-time career’ that every other blogger brags about.

Because that’s just not feasible. At all. How are these people able to quit their jobs as productive members of society just to sit around all day and rake in money from other hard-working people? I don’t want to quit my job to blog all day (I do want to quit because retail sucks ass, but because I want to blog all day).

I love working, and I know that some things just can’t be accomplished yet with technology, like stocking shelves or mopping floors (okay, I know rumbas are a thing, but those aren’t good for commercial places yet). I don’t want to sit back and let the cash roll in.

I’m blogging just to get some of what I think out into the great internet void. Because you can only complain so much to the people you know. And it’s fun to watch people to get all pissy because I’m throwing their lying asses under the bus for trying to mislead regular people into thinking that all their problems can be solved with a simple blog post and some affiliate links.

So don’t think I’m doing this just to get money from you or to live off the system and money made from other people’s generosity. I’m just here to scream into the void.

Student Life: Organization…

Just a heads up: There is an affiliate link below and I may get compensation if you decide to click through and buy some of the neat stuff I’m showing. But don’t worry that I’m trying to charge you out the ass; there’s extra charge for you. You’re the best, I appreciate you!

All those kids out there working and studying have all sorts of tips and tricks to keep on track. So I thought I would give you all my unnecessary input. Cause why not?

While working full-time, it’s hard to keep things under control, and adding in social time and clubs is next to impossible.

And everyone has their ideas on how to stay organized. EVERYONE.

But there’s no right answer to these questions. There’s no one way that works for everyone and sometimes you have to mix and match tips to find what works for you. Here’s what works for me, most of the time :).
Two forms of calendars: one paper and one electronic

Using two calendars helps me really keep track of everything. Most people say just use one, but this method helps me because it’s two reminders: a physical copy I can hold and carry and a digital one that I can set reminders for constantly from my phone and laptop.

Having both a physical planner and a digital calendar makes me keep deadlines in mind at all times so that I’m not overbooking myself on other assignments or meetings.

I take the time at the end of each day to make sure each is updated for the next few days so I’m always on track.
Two notebooks

This is a common tip and if you’ve ever tried you’ll see why. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this method, allow me to elaborate.

You can two notebooks. Simple enough. One is for your pretty notes and one is for class/reading notes. You begin by writing your notes in the ‘ugly’ notebook, from reading or from class, taking as many notes as possible. Then when you go over your notes for studying later in the day, you rewrite them in your ‘pretty’ notebook.

It sounds completely redundant and like a waste of time. But it’s a great study tool. Because not only are you having to recall from memory what was reviewed in class, but the repetition from writing the notes again makes you remember it better.

This method has really helped me work on recollection and associating concepts.

Color-coding and Filing Systems

This seems like another obvious idea. But for those who are clueless with filing systems, then listen up.

Every semester I try to keep every thing based in color-coded files based on the class subject; say, purple for lit classes, red for math, blue for sciences, etc.

As you get assignments back, you file them in these folders. How? One side use for handouts given in class, like resource pages, and one side for worksheets, homework, quizzes, and tests by DATE, oldest in front, newest is slipped in the back.

Then you have all your materials ready come test time to review.

Also color-code between classes. In your planner(s), color-code your time for classes and study time per class. For example, Math Class 1 is red in your planner, Science Class 1 is blue, Lit 1 is green, and so on. Then when you look at your schedule, you can quickly glance over it and see which classes you have coming up and what you need to study that night.

Wilderness Scout Bag

You can guess what this one means. Always have your bag prepared for the day.

Besides all the stuff you definitely need, think of all the things you MAY need. Maybe you’ll get out of your second class early and this will give a few minutes to review between classes. Maybe you’ll get stuck late at your lab tonight so bring a snack.

Here’s everything I pack in my bag for class everyday:

  • blank notecards and notecard holder (these can usually be found around back-to-school time)
  • calculator
  • phone charger
  • pencils
  • E-kit
    • Tampons and/or pads
    • Band-aids (you never know when those heels will give you a blister or you’ll get a nasty papercut during research)
    • Hair ties
    • bobby-pins
    • ibuprofen/acetaminophen
    • make-up if you wear it
  • planner
  • Colored pens
  • Holding folder (this is a folder/binder I carry to hold my papers until I get to class or home from class to file away properly)
  • Any books for Lit classes (unless you have a digital version, then maybe an e-reader if you have one)
  • A granola bar or two, or some trail mix
  • Water bottle : More often than not I don’t carry a water bottle on campus because I basically live off coffee and caffeine but stay hydrated folks
  • My laptop and charger (depending on where I’m going and what I’m doing that day)

This seems like a lot, but most of it fits in a pencil case or those smaller accessory pockets of a standard backpack.

Keep your bag organized and ready for the day so you can maximize your time but not having to search for papers, or pens, or your books, or a snack.

Notice I didn’t include my keys or wallet in this list and that’s because as an adult those are things you should be remembering every day.

Study Space

This is going to be your hub for school work. Most people think of a desk in their room. And that’s exactly it.

Keep this area clean and prepped for work every day. And after a long of studying and reading, it seems like a hassle to clean off your desk space, but it feels so satisfying to throw that shit in a drawer and be done with it for the day.

But keeping this area clean is critical to keeping your space organized. You’ll be able to find notes, flashcards, and worksheets with ease, especially using a color-coding system and folder system.

What little things kept you organized during your school days? Or maybe you’re struggling right now? Chat me up in the comments and let’s see what we can come up with it.

Unmotivated af…

You know those days your alarm goes off and you turn over to get up but you just don’t want to. Maybe its snowing outside and it would be so much nicer to stay in bed all day instead of tromping through the cold. Maybe you hate your job and constantly think about calling in just to get a few more hours of sleep.

And then you feel guilty for feeling burned out and unmotivated. So you start browsing the internet for some self-help guru to give you the magic answer.

There is none.

Getting up earlier or giving yourself goals isn’t going to make it easier for you to get out if bed and go to a job you hate.

So here are some tips I’ve come up with to get my ass moving on those really bad days when I want to call in.

Start Job Hunting 

One of the reasons you probably hate getting up is because you hate your job. Why? Take just a few seconds to really think about why. For me personally, retail is not where I wanted to be in life, they have taken advantage of my work ethic, they have unreasonable schedules, employees act like high schoolers and breed drama, and the benefits aren’t outstanding enough to make me want to stay permanently.

So maybe you feel this way about your job too. Then start looking.

Before calling in for the 5th time this month and its only the second week, start perusing the job market and see just how available another job is. And don’t get picky like ‘I wonder if NASA is hiring astronauts who used to work at a fast food place and have no college education to speak of’. Look for something that has just one benefit over your current work; better hours, better pay, closer commute, better benefits, in your chosen field…

But don’t quit your current job. Yet.

Spend your lunch time looking through the job postings and trying to scope the market before you quit. Then if you do decide you can’t do it anymore, you’ll have a plan in mind or even another job lined up.

Find some War Paint

This one is my all-time favorite for getting myself to go somewhere I don’t want to.

When I was just a little sophomore in high school, I saw a pretty hipster post declaring that you find your war paint to get you through the day. And for someone dealing with high school drama and the stress of getting into a good college, I took this advice to heart. And I don’t regret it for  second.

So what is war paint? It’s going to be one little thing that makes you feel good or powerful throughout the day. Like how some women love wearing red lipstick because they feel fierce. It can anything you can do before you go somewhere to make you feel powerful enough to handle the unknowns of the day.

I personally used to wear thick eyeliners and dyed my hair heavily and wore big clunky boots. I’ve taken to some of these fashions again because they make me feel more bad ass than the kindergarten teacher I normally resemble.

So how do you find your war paint? Think of some inner fantasy you’ve had. Like putting on fancy lingerie before you put on your police uniform (no judgements here folks, you can whatever kind of lingerie you want no matter who you are cause that shit is meant to make you feel good about yourself). Or it can stem from something more practical, like saying a prayer before you go to work (again, no judgements, whatever helps you guys do you).

It can be as simple as putting on some jewelry or as serious as slipping a knife into your pocket (sometimes I wish I had my knives at work). It just depends on what kind of aura you want to exude.

Take a Vacation

Cash in those vacation days. It’s the best way to actually get away from work without losing your job. And chances are that since you’re feeling burned out, you need to take a break.

So take a staycation and get your life back on track. Spend a day in bed and recoup from working your ass off.

When you get burned out from work, you don’t want to do shit. I know. You don’t want to come home and do dishes or laundry or even make a real meal. So take a few days off and get all that shit down.

When you get burned out, everything takes a back burner and then you feel guilty for not doing it. But don’t worry so much. Don’t pull yourself by your bootstraps and push day after day. Take some time and get yourself sorted out.

But don’t spend all those vacation days at once. Just take a long weekend, say a total of 5 days (three work days plus your two normal days off a week, so you’re only spending 3 vacation days).

Stress Relief

This is my favorite thing to do. Right when you get off from work, pick one little thing to get all that pent-up energy out. Some people like strenuous exercise. But we’re not some people.

I like to get home and scream into a pillow. Why not? That energy has to go somewhere. Remember how good you felt after screaming into a pillow as a kid?

Or come home and spend some one-on-one time with your honey. You know, some one-on-one time. It’s a good way to reconnect after along stressful day, it’s good way to get some of that pent-up energy out, and afterwards, pillowtalk is a great way to vent about your day without getting upset at your partner and a great way to brainstorm solutions for your particular job/situation.

 

There’s nothing quite like spending a majority of your day making someone else money. So before you lose your mind, leave me a comment below about some of the shit you put up with at work.